110mb is no longer hosting Grapeshield.com. All links will become invalid at some point, and no new content will be added.

So, I figured, for transparency’s sake, I will release some financial information for GrapeShield.com. This site is not intended to be profitable, solely just a hobby site. Any profit that this site happens to make will be donated to a local food bank. Here’s what the finances looked like for 2010:

Revenue for 2010: $35.65

CPC for 2010: $0.32

Currently Grapeshield.com is in the hole $50. When I reach get the $100, I will give myself back any money I spent on the site (so far $50) and purchase five years of Domain Registration. If, for some reason, I get another $100 in ad revenue in 2011, all of it will be donated to a local food pantry, and a blog post will be made. If anyone has any questions about the current operation of GrapeShield.com, or would like to purchase the name (all money would be donated), feel free to contact me at admin(a)grapeshield.com

Ways to Make a Telemarketer Go Away

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, “How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?”

2. If you get one of those pushy people who won’t shut up, just listen to their sales pitch. When they try to close the sale, tell them that you’ll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping or whatever. See how long that commission based scum waits for you to get your credit card.

3. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “Why do you want to know?” Or you can say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died….” When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

4. If the person says he’s Joe Doe from the ABC Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.

5. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: “Hi, my name is Julie and I’m with Dodger & Peck Services…. You: “Hang on a second.” (few seconds pause) “Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?”

6. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, “Julie!! Is this really you? I can’t believe it! Julie, how have you BEEN?” Hopefully, this will give Julie a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

7. Say, “No,” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they’re trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

8. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, “I don’t have any friends…would you be my friend?”

9. If they clean rugs: “Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood – chicken blood too?”

10. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional “Uh-huh, really, or, “That’s fascinating.” Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn’t give your credit card number to someone who’s a complete stranger.

11. Tell them you work for the same company they work for.
Example:
Telemarketer: “This is Bill from Widget & Associates.”
You: “Widget & Associates!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?”
Telemarketer: “Uh, Dallas, Texas.”
You: “Great, they have a group there too? How’s business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya.”

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, “Well, I don’t really want to get a call at home,” say, “Ya! Now you know how I feel.” (smiling, of course…)

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!

OK, for my first review, I’m reviewing Mexican Coca-Cola. I got it on amazon in a 6 pack, for about $20. It requires a bottle opener to open, and if dropped the glass is really sturdy. In addition to the standard Mexican labeling in all Spanish, there is a printed label stuck to it that has nutritional information in English, ingredients, and bottle refund info. The Coke itself is perfect. It tasted like coke should. It goes down better with no after-taste. It isn’t necessarily sweeter, which I liked, but it just tastes good. I don’t feel like I need to drink water after. Now, if I could get it for $1.00 – $1.50, it would be the perfect beverage.

I just made a new GrapeShield logo. You can see the evolution of the GrapeShield logo here http://grapeshield.com/avatars/